Fifty Shades: Fifty vs Fifty
by Grey girl 1989
Summary: One shot of my take on what would have happened if the blip argument escalated and got out of hand. The first half of the story is angst, tears and heartbreak but the second half is fluff and their happy ever after.


**HI EVERYONE**

 **HERE IS MY LATEST OFFERING. IT'S ONLY A ONE SHOT BUT ITS OVER 11K WORDS.**

 **I AM CURRENTLY WORKING IN 4 OTHER STORIES AND EACH ONE ALREADY HAS ABOUT 6K WORDS EACH BUT THEY ALL STILL NEED WORK.**

 **THIS WAS GOING TO BE A 3 PART STORY BUT I THINK ITS WORKS BEST AS A ONE SHOT.**

 **THE FIRST HALF OF THE STORY IS ANGST, ANGST, ANGST BUT THE SECOND HALF IS FLUFF FLUFF FLUFF, HENCE THE REASON THE STORY IS CALLED FIFTY SHADES: FIFTY FIFTY.**

 **THE STORY STARTS FROM WHEN JACK HYDE CALLS ANA WHEN SHE IS AT SIP AND HE TELLS HER HE HAS MIA. IN THIS STORY IT _IS_ MIA THAT CALLS HER AND THE WHOLE KIDNAP, BEAT HER HALF TO DEATH BIT NEVER HAPPENS.**

 **HOPE YOU ALL LIKE IT.**

 **CHEERS**

 **XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX**

* * *

 **ANAS POV**

* * *

 **From:** Christian Grey

 **Subject:** Portland

 **Date:** September 15 2011 09:34

 **To:** Anastasia Grey

Ana,

I am flying down to Portland today.

I have some business to conclude with WSU.

I thought you would want to know.

 **Christian Grey**

 **CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings, INC**

* * *

I stare at the screen at my husbands short and to the point message.

There is none of the usual banter. There is not a change to his signature. There is no "I love you".

This last two days since blipgate have been hell. Since I told him I was pregnant he has gone out with his ex pedo lover, gotten drunk and then spilled his guts about our personal business. The next morning we had a blazing row and slept in separate bedrooms for the second night in a row and now I have his email.

I suppose I should be thankful that he even let me know. We haven't really talked for two days apart from a short phone call last night when I asked him if he was coming home.

* * *

 **To:** Christian Grey

 **Subject:** Charlie Tango

 **Date:** September 15 2011 09:38

 **From:** Anastasia Grey

Christian,

If you're taking Charlie Tango then please fly safe.

See you tonight.

Ana x

 **Anastasia Grey**

 **Editor, SIP**

* * *

I hope he views the kiss at the end of my name as a peace offering. I hate this limbo that we seem to be in. I know he is not happy about the baby, I am not ecstatic giving the timing but this is our baby. We made this little life out of love. I know we can do this. I know he has his doubts about being a good father but I know he can do it. He is fun, caring, loving, he will set boundaries and I know he will spoil our child. He just needs a little extra help coming to terms with the idea.

Maybe I should call Flynn for him? No, I won't interfere like that. Christian has to come to terms with this on his own time.

I finish reading my manuscript when my phone starts ringing. I deflate when I see its Mia and not my husband.

"Hey, Mia"

"Ana! I was just calling to see if you wanted to go shopping Saturday with Kate and I? There is this gorgeous pair of shoes I want from this little independent shop down town. Are you in?"

"Sure, Mia. It sounds like fun" Actually, shopping is the last thing I want to do at the minute and go with two shopaholics but I miss hanging with the girls.

"Sweet! I will text you tonight with the deets. Laters!"

"Laters, Mia" We hang up and I smile for the first time in days over my sister in laws boundless energy.

* * *

When I get home the apartment is empty. I know Gail has gone for a long weekend with her sister, Taylor is with my husband and Sawyer is in the staff quarters so its just me in the main apartment.

I absentmindedly take off my jacket and then out of habit I pour myself a glass of wine. Its almost to my lips when I remember I can't drink it. I dump it in the sink and then head to our bedroom to grab a change of clothes.

I stop at the neatly made bed and run my finger over my husbands pillow. I miss sleeping with him. I'm cold at night without his warmth.

Perhaps if we talk tonight and get everything on the table then I can come back in here to sleep.

I grab a pair of shorts and a tank top and head into the shower. I take my time and shave my legs and do all the things that I normally rush because Christian is in here with me, pawing at me. When I finish I decide that I can't be bothered to cook so I order a pizza and twenty minutes later, Sawyer goes down to collect it for me.

I eat two slices and then put the rest in microwave so Christian can heat it up if he is hungry.

I wonder what time he will be home? It's almost 8pm. I don't want to text him because I don't want to seem like the nagging wife. Maybe I should text Taylor?

Just as I am thinking about this the elevator pings and Taylor and Christian walk out. Taylor gives me a nod and then heads towards his quarters leaving my husband staring at me in the entrance.

"Hi"

"Anastasia" He greets me and then takes off his jacket. He wanders into the kitchen and then frowns when he opens the oven to find it empty.

"I ordered pizza. Its in the microwave" I walk to the fridge and grab a bottle of water and hold up the wine for him.

"No thanks" he shakes his head and then walks over to the bar where he pours himself a glass of Scotch. When his pizza is finished warming I set it on a plate for him and then put it on the breakfast bar. I sit down on the stall and come up with a plan in my mind. Let him eat. Then we talk about the baby and sort this mess out.

"I have work to do so I will eat this in my office" He mumbles and picks up his plate.

"But Christian, we need to talk!" He stops and turns to look at me and he looks furious.

"What is there to talk about? You fucked up and got us into this shit so you can talk to yourself until the cows come home but I don't have to listen to it!" He gets louder the longer he goes on.

"I fucked up? Last time I checked it takes two to make a baby!"

"But it only takes one careless bitch to forget her fucking shot!" He screams and then throws the glass and the plate he was holding at the wall making me jump.

He grips his hair and then starts pacing back and forth. When he finally looks at me I can see that he is very very mad, and very very scared.

"I wanted to show you the world but this...this..thing! has fucked that all up. You're my wife so I will stand by you and I will continue to be your husband and protector. But don't expect me to be involved with anything to do with that thing" He yells once again and then stomps his way into our bedroom leaving me stunned.

He called our baby a _Thing_ and he called me a _careless bitch!_ How the fuck are we going to fix this? And what does he mean he is not getting involved with anything to do with the baby? What about my doctors appointments and birthing class? What's he going to do when the baby is born and its living with us?

I look up when I hear footsteps and I see Christian now wearing jeans and a black tee shirt. He is fresh from a shower and even though I don't like him very much right now, he looks so fucking good.

He walks passed me and grabs his R8 keys off the hook and then he turns to leave without a word. Like fuck he is!

"Where are you going?"

"Out"

"Out where?" he turns to look at me and stands with his hands on his hips.

"I'm not going where you think I am going, if that is what you're asking" I know he is referring to Elena.

"Will you be home tonight? Sober?"

"Yes I will be home tonight but I can't say if I'll be sober or not" He shrugs and then presses the elevator button. When he walks into the cart he turns to look at me and then quickly looks down when he sees the tears that are falling from my eyes.

"Ana?"

"Y...yes?" I stutter.

"Don't even think about sleeping in the guest room tonight. I want you waiting for me in our bed when I return" And with that the doors close and once again my husband has left me stunned and speechless.

He wants me to wait for him in our bed? Has he lost his mind? Sex is the last thing I want from him right now. He can't expect me to just forget all the hurtful things he has said and done over the last few days. I will be sleeping in the guest room to night and he can go fuck himself!

* * *

I awake several hours later when I hear the guest room door open with a bang. I look at the clock and see its almost 2am. I turn on the bedside light and it illuminates the figure of my husband in the door way.

His hair is a mess, his knuckles are scraped and he has blood on his shirt. _Where has he been? What the fuck did he do!?_

"I thought I told you that I wanted you to sleep in our bed?" His words are a bit slurred but he is nowhere near the state he was in when he went drinking with his pedo buddy.

"Are you drunk?" I sit up so my back is against the head board and as I do the sheet falls revealing my nipples through my thin camisole. His eyes darken when he sees my breast so I quickly cover myself up making him growl.

"I may have had one or two but I would not say that I am drunk. Come down to our room with me" He holds his hand out for me.

"No. I am sleeping up here and I will be for the foreseeable future and if you continue to come home drunk every night then I will be getting further away from you and I will go stay with Kate"

Anger and hurt cloud his face and he walks over to me and sits on the edge of the bed.

"You said you would never leave me and I'll be fucked if you leave me because I have had a drink. But you are coming down and you will be sleeping in _OUR_ bed in _OUR_ room. Now get your ass up"

"No" I cross my arms and he actually laughs at me.

"I think I have told you once before that if you throw down the gauntlet, I am more than willing to pick it up" He leans down fast and before I know it I am in his arms bridal style.

"PUT ME DOWN!" My protest fall on deaf ears and he just walks down the stairs and once we are in our bedroom he kicks the door shut and then sets me down softly on my side of the bed.

I scramble away from him and go to walk out the door.

"GET IN THE FUCKING BED NOW OR I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL DESTROY EVERY FUCKING GUEST ROOM WE HAVE!" He scream at me and I know he will do it. He is so wound up right now that he is like a ticking time bomb. I know he would never hurt me, well, physically he would not. Mentally I feel like he makes me go ten rounds with Mike Tyson ever other day.

To try and stem his anger I get in the bed but I perch on the far edge as far away from him as I possible can be.

Opposite me on my vanity there is a mirror and I watch as Christian walks into the bathroom and I hear him brushing his teeth. A few minutes later he walks into the room completely naked and gets into the bed. He shuts off all the lights and just lays there.

After a full ten minutes of both of us just listening to the other breathe he shuffles over to me. I feel his finger tips brush up and down my arm but I move away from him.

"Ana...I need you"

"Don't, Christian!" I shrug him off again but he rolls me over so I am under him.

"Please, baby" He leans down and starts kissing my neck but for the first time in our marriage I don't get the flutter of arousal in my belly. Or any other area for that matter.

"Christian, you can't just fuck our problems away"

"I'm not trying to fuck our problems away, Anastasia. I'm just trying to fuck you" He starts to nip and lick my ear but I still am nowhere near in the mood.

He starts to work his way down my body and after three minutes of me laying there flat and stiff as an ironing board he pulls away to look at me.

"What is wrong with you!?" he practically growls.

"I'm not in the mood. I am so far away from the mood that I cant even see it. The only reason I have not thrown you off of me is because I promised to give you solace in good times and bad and I know that this is what you need right now so hurry up and get it over with!" I glare at him.

He looks at me like I have just told him the world was flat. He just stares at me for what feels like hours but then he jumps off of me and puts his pajama pants on and then grabs his phone from the dresser and heads for the door.

"Where are you going?"

"Somewhere that is away from you!" He snarls and then slams the door on his way out leaving me a crying mess on our bed.

* * *

I hardly slept last night. I tossed and turned for hours. I was worried where Christian went but then I remembered that he was only wearing pajama pants. After about an hour I heard the piano and when I poked my head around the door I saw him playing with a bottle of scotch to his lips. He looked haunted.

After a shower I make my way into the kitchen and see that Christian is not here but there is a note on the breakfast bar.

 **Went into the office early and I have an over night in Dallas tonight so I will be back tomorrow. Don't go anywhere without Sawyer. C**

He is going to the other side of the country and he didn't even say goodbye? I scrunch the note up and toss it in the bin. Asshole!

I make myself some breakfast and just as I call Sawyer to tell him I am ready to leave, a wave of sickness hits me and I just make it to the bathroom in time to throw up the little food I ate. I wipe my mouth and brush my teeth and then make my way back to the living room.

"Are you OK, Ma'am?" Sawyer asks me concerned.

"I'm fine. Just a little sickness"

We make our way to SIP and just before we pull up to the garage my phone beeps with a text from my errant husband.

 **Sawyer informed me that you were sick. What's wrong with you? Do you need a doctor?**

Is he for real? Whats wrong with me? You knocked me up, that's whats wrong with me!

 **Its morning sickness**

He doesn't respond for a few minutes and then my phone beeps.

 **Do you need a doctor?**

 **No. I am fine now. Just got to work.**

 **I am heading to the airport. I will call you tonight.**

 **Safe flight x**

Again with the fucking kiss! I hate my own self. Why am I so weak around him?

* * *

God I am fried! I had back to back editors meetings and then I had a call with an authors who I think needs to seek professional help as soon as possible. I had a nice bubble bath when I got home and changed Into my comfy clothes.

I have just finished my chicken salad when my phone rings. Its Christian.

"Hi"

 **"Hi"**

We don't say anything for a few minutes but then the tension gets unbearable.

 **"Did you eat dinner?"**

"Yes, Christian. I have just finished a chicken salad"

 **"That's not a lot?"** I can practically feel his frown.

"Eating too much makes me feel sick. I had a huge sandwich for lunch and then I was so rushed at work that I threw it up. Eating little and often seems to be doing the trick in keeping my food down"

" **Well at least you wont have to worry about being rushed at work for much longer"**

"What do you mean by that?"

 **"You're quitting your job. SIP has no child care facility and you're not hiring a nanny and I am certainly not looking after _it_ so you need to be at home with _it_ "**

 _It?_ This is his CHILD!

"I am not quitting my job, Christian! Women have babies and careers all the time. I see no reason why I should be any different"

 **"Yes you are. It is not even up for discussion. When I come home tomorrow I expect you to have your letter Of resignation ready to hand into Roach"**

"You cant do this, Christian! I love my job!" I sob

 **"I can and I will. You can't have your cake and eat it too. You want to be mother fucking hen so that means you will stay at home with all your little chicks. Actually, you will stay at home with your _Chick_ because I am going to get a vasectomy at the first motherfucking chance!"**

"Fuck you, Christian! Why don't you fucking stay in Dallas and get the hell out of my life!" I slam my phone down so hard on the counter that the screen cracks and goes dead.

How fucking dare he! He can't make me give up my job! And I don't want blip to be an only child like I was! Surely your husband getting a vasectomy should be a joint decision?

I stalk around the apartment for an hour not really doing anything and then I get into bed.

I actually considered packing a bag and staying at Kate's for a few days until he we both calm down but I don't want to bring my problems to my best friend.

I know he will calm down and come to accept the baby. I know he will.

* * *

 **TWO WEEKS LATER**

Its been 2 weeks since Christian and I had the Phone argument when he was in Dallas.

Its been 2 weeks of hell.

We have barley spoken. We sleep in separate beds. We don't text or email throughout the day. We have become 2 ships that pass in the night.

The only thing we do is glare at each other. Its become hell on earth and he has worn me down.

I miss my husband. I miss our marriage. I miss being in his arms. I just miss him.

I have cried myself to sleep every single night for 2 weeks and I have become so run down that instead of putting on weight like a pregnant woman should, I've lost it. The few pounds I put on when we were in Europe have gone and now I am back down to the weight I was after the belt incident.

I can see that Christian wants to berate me for not eating a lot but he has not even scolded me. He seems indifferent to me.

A baby should have brought us closer together but instead it has ripped us apart.

I know what I have to do. I don't want to do it but its the only way I will get my husband back. I wish I was stronger to make a different choice but I'm not.

I pick up the phone and dial the number I need.

"This is Anastasia Grey for Dr Green please"

* * *

 **CHRISTIANS POV**

The elevator seems to be going slow just to taunt me. I have so much restless energy that I can not wait to get into the apartment, grab my gym clothes and then go kick my trainers ass.

The last few weeks have been hell. My wife has become a stranger. Our marriage has been blown apart and I feel like I am losing her a bit more each day.

I don't mean to push her away but I do not want this baby. Fat lot I can do about it now it has latched itself inside of her but that doesn't mean that I will suddenly become father material.

I would only fuck a child up. What type of father could I possible be? Ana may have been my light but this thing has pushed me straight back into the darkness.

I have drunk more in the last few weeks than I have in the last ten years. I was starting to drink every night but thank god I saw the path I was on and I have curbed it. I don't want to become a drunk. I need control and a drunk has none. I wish I could drink this problem away but I know I can't.

I would never ask her to get a termination because I know that would kill her. A termination would be the best thing all around but I know if I demanded she get rid of it then she would forever resent me.

We can still have a marriage with the child around. As soon as it is old enough then its going to boarding school. Preferably in Switzerland. The further away from me it is the better. The better for him, that is. I need it as far from me as possible because I don't want to hurt it. I was hurt as a child and its affected me ever since. I wont do that to Ana's child.

The elevator doors open and I am surprised to see all the lights off. The only light is coming from the fire that has been lit and in front of that fire is Ana.

Shes just staring blankly into the flames. I turn away from her to head to the bedroom but when I see the wine glass in her hand I lose it.

"What the fuck are you doing?! You can't drink!" I go to snatch the glass out of her hand but she pulls it out of my reach and looks at me defiantly. I am appalled to see the half empty bottle beside her.

"You should not be drinking wine, Anastasia!" I snap and she laughs.

"Like you really give a fuck. Besides, its a moot point" She mumbles and knocks the contents of her glass back.

"What do you mean, its a moot point?"

She stands up and grabs the bottle and her glass. She puts both on the coffee table and then stands right in front of me. She crying. Tears are falling fast and hard from her eyes but she is not sniffling or spluttering.

"I know I have choices. I could continue in this hell that we have been in for 2 weeks and hope for the best but we both know that is reaching. I could take this baby and leave your ass and go somewhere you would never find us and I could probably live happy ever after but there is a problem. My happy ever after is tied to you. I can't just walk away from you because even though you have been a monster over the last few weeks, I still love you and I still want to be with you. So I am going to do what you probably wanted from the start but were not man enough to ask me. I am going to fix this and hopefully we can find our way forward"

"What are you doing? How are you going to fix this?" I whisper because I am not sure I want to hear what she is going to say and that confuses me.

"I called Dr Green this afternoon. I have an appointment with her in the morning"

"An appointment for what?"

"A termination"

My gut twists and my heart almost beats out of my chest. This is what I wanted but I know it's not what she wants. But I can't be a father. Just the thought of me having control over a child's life makes me sick! Can't she see that I would only hurt her child? I have to say something to her because she is just looking at me.

"Do you want me to go with you?" She snorts and closes her eyes as if she is in pain. She turns from me and goes to look out the window with her arms wrapped around her.

"No I don't want you to go with me"

"If that's what you really want" I fiddle with my fingers and don't look at her. It hurts to see her so hurt. And in my heart, I'm hurt too. And I dont know why.

"Do you know what I really want, Christian?" She turns to me and I shake my head.

"I want to be able to wake up tomorrow and realise this was all a bad dream. Telling your husband you're carrying his child should be one of the happiest times of your life but instead your reaction has caused this" She motions between us "I don't ask for a lot of things and I've never really wished for anything but I wish I had a husband that was normal and not fifty shades of fucked up like YOU! I wish I was in a marriage where I felt like I was an equal. But do you know what I really wish the most? I wish I had a time machine so I could go back to that rainy May morning when Kate stumbled into my room and asked me to stand in for the interview and do you know what I would say to her? I'd tell her to go fuck herself because even though I love you more than anything in the world...I wish I had never met you. You're a selfish prick and at this moment in time I hate you!" She dashs the tears from her face and then runs by me and slams the bedroom door behind her.

I stand there just stunned at her words. She wished she had never met me? She wishes she had a husband that was not fifty shades of fucked up. I wish she had a husband that was not fifty shades of fucked up. She deserves so much more than me but I am a selfish man and I can't let her go. I love her too much. And I know she loves me. She's killing her child because she wants to keep me. That thought makes me run to the bathroom and bring up everything in my stomach.

She's going to kill her baby.

All because I'm the world biggest prick.

I walk to my study but I have to pass the door to our bedroom and I hear her crying and screaming but it's muffled, like she's doing it in to a pillow. I go to turn the door handle but stop myself. I'm probaly the last person she wants to see right now. I'm the one who has destroyed her.

I walk to my study and grab the first bottle I come too. I sit there for hours just thinking about all the times I have fucked up in my life. It's a lot. But what I have done to Ana, what I have forced her to do, is the most fucked up.

My head is pounding but when I look in my desk I have run out of aspirin. I walk into the kitchen and find Ana's purse. She always has so much shit in her bag that I know she will have some.

I open it up and roll my eyes at the amount of stuff. I hunt around and find the pills but there is something lumpy in the concealed zipper. What is that? I open it up and pull out the two items that make ups its contents.

Its a tiny teddy bear. It's the size of my finger. It's wearing a miniature Seattle Seahawks jersey and ball cap.

The other item is a black and white picture. I turn it around a few times trying to determine what it is but then I gasp when I see the writing on the top of the picture.

Anastasia Grey is printed in the top left corner and in the top right are the words Baby Grey.

Baby Grey?

It hits me like a ton of bricks and the realization makes me crumple to the floor.

Its not just Ana's baby. It's my baby. And I don't want it to be terminated. I may be a fucked up asshole who is on the verge of losing his wife but I can turn this around. I know I can.

* * *

 **ANAS POV**

I try to keep my eyes closed as long as I can. If I open them then that means it's Friday and today I have an appointment with Dr Green. My mind has been going back and forth all night and I've changed it again.

I can't get rid of my baby. My blip. I would never forgive myself or Christian and I know that even though I thought it would be best for our marriage, I know now that it will actually be the final nail in the coffin.

I promised him that I would never leave him but I have to. I can't go on like this. It's killing me slowly and making me do things that I would never normally do. For fucks sake! I drank almost an entire bottle of wine last night and I'm pregnant! This last few weeks have fucked with my head so bad that I dont know if I am coming or going.

I said some awful things to him last night. Things that I didn't mean but can't take back. Things I know will fester in his mind until he doubts himself and my love for him. Especially when he finds out where I am going.

I have decided that I am going to go to my mothers for a few weeks. I need to clear my head and I think Christian needs the time of himself too. I still have this feeling deep in my heart that everything will work out but maybe it's just wishful thinking.

I open my eyes to get out of bed and I'm stunned to find Christian sat on the edge of the bed just looking at me. Has he been crying? He's still wearing the clothes he had on last night and I didn't notice before but he's holding my hand.

"What are you doing?" I ask him and try to shuffle up the bed but he grips my hand a little tighter.

"I called Dr Green this morning and cancelled your appointment. I know I've been...I know I am a selfish prick and you hate me but I don't want you to get this termination and I know that is not what you want. I know it won't be easy and I probably will fuck it up but...I think we can do this. I'm sorry for the horrific way I have treated you over the last few weeks and I will regret my behavior until my dying day but I can't turn back the clock. And I don't have a time machine" he looks at me sadly and I know he is recalling what I said last night when I said I wish I had never met him.

"I know a few words won't fix this mess I have made and if...if you want to leave for a little while ...then... I won't stop you" Tears start falling from his eyes and he wipes them away.

"I love you and I am so sorry for what I have done to you. To us. And for what I almost made you do to...to the baby" He gently puts his hand on my belly and it's what starts my tears.

"You were talking in your sleep last night and I know you want to go to Georgia. The jet is ready for you. The only thing I ask is if you do go, you come back to me. I know I'm not the husband you want but I can do better, I can, I promise" he completely breaks down In to heart wrenching sobs and I lean up and wrap my arms around him. We both cry for more than twenty minutes without saying anything. When our tears finally stop he stands up at the end of the bed.

"I love you, Anastasia and I always will. But I know that I have destroyed the girl you were. The girl who fell in love with me. I can make you love me again. I know I can"

"Christian, I love now! I always have but this last few weeks have killed me. I was going to get rid of our baby, Christian! I don't like the person I have become and I think that a little time apart is what we need. I will go to Georgia for a few days, clear my head, but I will come back"

"Promise?" He asks like a small child.

"I promise" I nod and he walks over to me and kisses me softly on the lips.

"Call me when your plane lands. And please remember to eat. It's not just you now" He says gently before swooping down and kissing my belly. He's out the door before I can say anything else and once again my husband leaves me stunned.

* * *

 **CHRISTIANS POV**

Its been 3 days since Ana went to Georgia. She called me the first night when her plane landed and we have been texting everyday but we haven't called each other.

I have been in with Flynn every single day since she left and he has helped me see what my behavior did and how I can work on myself going forward.

During my sessions I realized that it's not just becoming a father that I am scared of. I'm terrified that I will lose Ana. I didn't know why I was so scared about Ana being pregnant but then Flynn helped pull up a memory from my past that I had forgotten about. But I have this memory of when I was about three years old.

The crack whore was screaming out in pain in our dirty kitchen of the hellhole we lived in. I remember there was a lot of blood and she was yelling at me, telling me to stay in the bedroom. I was in there for what felt like hours and when the screams stopped I crawled out of my hiding hole.

I found her surrounded by blood and crying. And in her arms was a lifeless little body. I remember walking over to her slowly and when she saw me she smiled sadly and told me my sister was now with the Angels.

I don't know what happened to the baby and I don't know how she got medical attention but I must have blocked out that memory because it was so horrible.

Flynn seems to think my fear of the baby is not about me being a shitty father. It's the overwhelming fear of losing Ana. He has recommended that I continue seeing him multiple times a week and maybe a few joint sessions with Ana. We have nine months or how ever long it is before the baby is born to help me get over my fears.

I am sitting on the sofa at Escala and I am completely lost. I miss Ana so much and I am itching to just get on the jet and go get her. I texted her this morning but she has not texted back all day. I hope she likes the picture I sent her and I hope she can see that I am trying.

Perhaps she has realized that she is so much better off with out me. I have said some nasty horrible things to her this last few weeks. I called her a careless bitch. I called the baby It and The thing. I'm so ashamed of myself. I need to get out of this apartment.

I grab my R8 keys but then see Ana's R8 keys. I want to be with her in any way I can so I grab them. I tell Taylor I am going to take a ride over to the house on the sound and I should only be a couple of hours.

As I drive towards the sound I start to think of the security risks with the house. It has a pool so we will need to get that fenced off because what if the baby falls in? Also there are the balconies and the stairs. Shit! This house is nothing but a danger zone for a child.

As I come to the red light at the intersection I start making plans to baby proof the house. Just as I am thinking, I look to my left and see a big truck speeding at me. It hits the driver side and the car flips half a dozen times before I pass out and everything goes black.

* * *

 **ANAS POV**

I miss Christian so much. I have been here three days and all I want to do is get on the plane and go back to him. Being away from him has not helped me clear my head at all.

We have texted lots but I left my phone at home today while I went shopping with my mother. I pick the phone up see I have a text and a picture message from Christian. I open the text and smile at his words.

 **Good morning, baby. And baby. I did a little shopping this morning and can't wait to see you to give you your present. Love Christian.**

He's trying. I know he is. The fact that he mentions the baby in most of his texts is a good sign, right?

I open the picture message and tears fill my eyes.

On our breakfast bar he has taken a picture of a giant jar of pickles and next to it is onsie trimmed in blue that has the words "Baby Grey" written on it.

This means so much to me. He has behaved horrifically but he is trying. That's all that matters to me. I grab the phone to call him but I'm shocked when it goes straight to voicemail.

 **" _Grey. Leave a message._ "**

"Hi, it's me. I got your picture and I loved it. Not sure about the pickles but I loved the onsie...I hate being away from you so I am going to fly home tomorrow. I think we just need to talk this out and then move on. I love you...and I'm so sorry that I said I wished I had never met you...you're the best thing that ever happened to me, Christian Grey. Even if you are a complete Arse sometimes. You're my Arse. I love you and I will see you tomorrow"

I hang up and for the first time in weeks I feel lighter. I start packing my bag when I hear a knock on my bedroom door. Thinking it's my mom I shout for her to come in.

"Mrs Grey" I spin when I hear Sawyers voice behind me.

"Luke, what's wrong?" I can tell by his face that something is wrong.

"Mrs Grey...Ana...we need to get back to Seattle as soon as possible. The jet is on the runway waiting for us and time is of the essence"

"Why? What's wrong Luke?" He doesn't answer me but he looks at me with sadness and...pity, in his eyes.

"WHATS WRONG?!" I scream at him.

"Mr Grey was in a car accident. Taylor just called me. We need to go Ana. It's bad"

All the breath leaves my body and I fall to my knees. Luke swoops down and picks me up and sets me on the bed where I have a breakdown.

"Is he...is he alive?... Please Luke...tell me..."

"He's alive but he's being rushed into surgery. I'll help you pack. We need to go"

* * *

The flight was a blur and I am barely aware of Luke helping me off the jet and into the waiting SUV which Ryan drives like a manic to get us to the hospital.

When we get there my legs are so weak that Sawyer and Ryan each have to take one of my arms and practically carry me through the hospital and to a waiting area where Grace, Carrick, Mia, Kate and Elliott are waiting.

"Grace" I whisper and when she sees me she stands up and I fall into her arms.

"How is he? Is he OK? Can I see him?" I start sobbing and she directs me to a chair where my leg finally give out and I slump down.

"He's hanging on. He's been in surgery for a few hours now"

"Luke told me it was bad? How bad is it, Grace?" Tears slip from her eyes and she grips my hand. I am vaguely aware of Kate sitting down next to me and putting her arms around me.

"The impact of the other car hit on the drivers side. It crushed part of his rib cage and one of his lungs were punctured. A passing car stopped and thank god, the woman was an off duty police officer and she had some medical training and she gave him CPR. The paramedics showed up and I was told he flat lined on the way here. He went straight into surgery and we have not been updated since"

I have to put my head between my legs because I feel light headed. My poor Christian. He's hurt and I wasn't here. I was on the other side of the fucking country because I was being a petulant child because I couldn't handle when things got too rough in my marriage. Instead of staying here and sorting out our problems I ran away.

One of the last things I said to him was I wish I had never met him. I called him a selfish prick and told him I hated him. Please God, please don't let be one of the last things I ever say to him. I would not survive without him. I need him. Our baby needs him.

I sit here for another 2 hours without saying a word. People keep offering me coffee and tea or something to eat but I refuse. I won't be able to keep it down anyway.

"Family of Christian Grey?"

I stand up so fast I almost fall over.

"I'm his wife. Is he OK?"

"He's in recovery in a private room, Mrs Grey. He had a lot of internal bleeding which we had a hard time stopping but we managed to stem it. His lung was punctured by we fixed it. Considering the speed of the impact he got off fairly lightly with only a few broken bones. He has 3 broken ribs and a couple of broken fingers on his left side. He has a hairline fracture to the skull and there was a slight swelling of the brain but all tests indicate that it is going down. Hes still out but he should be awake in the next day or so"

"Can I see him?"

"Of course. Follow me" he leads me down a few corridors and up ahead I see Taylor out side a door. I tell the doctor thank you and he leave me with Christians trusted body guard who looks like he has been through hell and back.

"Jason?"

"I'm so sorry, Ana. I should have gone with him but he insisted he wanted to drive himself"

"Jason, stop. This is not your fault. I need to see him and we will talk later, OK?"

He nods and opens the door of my husbands room.

"Oh, Christian" I gasp when I see him

He has tubes and wires all over him and his left side is bandaged. He has a few small cuts on his beautiful face but apart from that, he still looks like his handsome self.

I walk over and kiss him softly on the lips.

"I'm here, baby and I promise you I am never leaving again. I swear to you. I need you to wake up, Christian. I love you so much. So fucking much. Please wake up, Baby"

* * *

Its been over 36 hours since the surgery and he still has not woken up. I have not left his side even though almost everyone has told me to go home and have some rest but I wont. I have eaten and I have been drinking but only because of blip.

I have not told anyone about the baby but I think Grace suspects something. She has caught me resting my hand in my belly more than once.

I'm so tired. I rest my head in his bed and rest my eyes for a moment.

* * *

 **CHRISTIANS POV**

Fuck! Everything hurts and my chest feels like it's on fire. I slowly open my eyes and I see the mass of brunette hair that is my wife. She leaning with her upper body on the bed and she's fast asleep. She looks beautiful.

I slowly raise my hand and gently stroke her hair. I have barely touched her when her head shoots up.

"Christian! Oh thank god!" She starts crying and then she flings her arms around me, being careful of my beat up body.

"I thought I lost you...I thought..."

"Shhhh, baby. I'm here. I'm OK" She pulls back and kisses me softly on the lips.

"Christian, you know I didn't mean those awful things I said don't you? I'm so sorry I said I hated you and that I wish I had never met you. You're the best thing that ever happened to me and I'm so so sorry" She starts crying and I pull her to me as best I can.

"It's me who should be sorry, Ana. I behaved so badly when you told me about the baby. I'm so sorry that's backed you into a corner and you thought you had to...had to"

"I know. This has been one big cluster fuck but we will be ok. We will get through this. I know that we may not be ready and I don't have a clue how to raise a child but I have faith in us"

"I do to, Mrs Grey. And I promise, I am going to be the best husband and father I can possible be"

"I love you so much. So so much" She leans in and kisses me again and again.

"I love you too, Anastasia"

* * *

 **3 WEEKS LATER. ANAS POV**

Its been 2 weeks since Christian was released from the hospital but he is still not cleared to go back to work. He has been having headaches a lot because of his skull fracture but all his test have come back clear. His ribs have been giving him a lot of pain but he hardly complains. Don't get me wrong, he has not been the worlds most perfect patient but I thought he would be a lot worse.

I have taken a leave of absence from SIP. There was no way I could leave him every day at home while he was on bed rest. I have been thinking a lot over the last few weeks about work. I like my job, I really do but I don't need the money. I don't want our child being raised by a nanny. With all the money that we have, I could do so much good.

Christian told me about his birth mother giving birth in the kitchen floor and the baby dying. He was so torn up over it that I had to call Flynn to come over. Seeing my husband cry is heartbreaking. Watching him relive memories of that time in his life is very difficult but it helped me understand why he reacted to the pregnancy news the way he did.

I want to start some sort of foundation that helps abused and neglected kids. Christian told me I can use as much money as I need and I had his full support, should I choose to give up my job for good.

We have gotten a lot closer over the last 2 weeks and I have fallen even deeper in love with him. We have talked and talked about all our fears and hopes and for the most part, we're on the same page.

We both said some truly horrible things to each other during those dark weeks at the beginning but we now have a few rules in place to make sure we don't go down that path again.

Rule number one: Never go to bed angry or in separate beds.

Rule number two: No sex until our issue is resolved. That way we have something to work towards and try to get everything sorted out as soon as possible.

Unfortunately, sex is off the table at the moment. Christian still has not been cleared because of his lung and head injury. It's not stopped him from trying though.

I finish putting the finishing touches to our lunch and then head into the TV room where my husband is waiting. He's only wearing a pair of boxer shorts because he claims it's too hot. I know it's because he is trying to get me to have sex with him. It's almost working.

"Your lunch, Fine Sir" I smirk and hand him his plate.

"Thank you, Wench" He smiles and I sit down next to him.

We eat in comfortable silence while watching an old episode of Animal Planet. When we have finished, Christian takes my plate from me and then sets it down next to his on the coffee table. He scoots over and then grabs a file that was on the floor.

"Here, this is for you" He hands me the file and I open it to find lots of papers. I don't understand any of them but I see my name on a few and his.

"What is this?"

"That night when I came home and you were sat in front of the fire place" He stops and looks down. That was the blackest moment in our marriage and neither of us like thinking about it.

"You said that night that you wished you had a marriage where you felt like you were an equal"

"Christian.."

"Please, Ana. I need this. I don't want you to ever feel like this is not 50-50. You're my wife and I know that sometimes I keep certain details from you and it infuriates you. I don't want that. Those files in your hand are our security protocols. Basically it will tell you what Sawyer and Taylor do all day. When we have under covers on us. How our phones are monitored and why. Also you will find the passwords and account details of all of our bank accounts and the deeds to Grey House, this place, The apartment in New York, The house in Aspen and well, everything I own. I don't want you to ever feel that way again"

"Christian, Baby. I don't need all this" I hold up the papers.

"I know you don't Ana but I do. I want us to be equal partners. In all things. If I ever lost you because of my overbearing, selfish, domineering ways, it would kill me" He tells me sincerely. I scoot over and cuddle him into me.

"Christian, You're not going to lose me. I am not going anywhere. I said some things when I was upset and I regret them but you have to know that I love you with my whole heart and yes, we had a really bad argument. The first real one of our marriage but that won't be the last"

"But I don't want to argue with you, Ana. I cant"

"So you think we can make it the next 60 years without arguing?" he snorts into my chest and then laughs.

"Not with your defiant nature, no we wont make is 60 years without arguing but we can give it a damn good try. Besides, you're only one woman. I am sure I can handle you"

"What if blip is a girl and then there will be 2 of me" I giggle and he freezes and I realize what I have said.

Apart from that first day in the hospital, we haven't really mentioned the baby and we certainly haven't spoken about blip as a person as in whether its a boy or a girl. I go to stand up but his grip tightens on me. His head is still buried in my chest so I can't see his face.

"Do you think its a girl?" He asks softly.

"I've not really given it any thought. It's way to early to tell. I think you can find out at about 20 weeks or so"

He nods his head and remains silent. I know something is eating him up but I don't want to push him.

"Are you OK, Christian?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. I was just thinking..."

"About?"

"The day I had the accident, I was on my way over to the House on the sound. I was thinking about which room would be the baby's room and I thought it would be the one in the middle of the hall, you remember the one with the big windows and balcony?"

"Yes, I remember" My heart is beating wildly because this is the first time he has talked like this.

"Well I was assuming that the baby is a boy and that room will be fine but if its a girl then she will need to have the room next to ours"

"Why? What difference does it make?"

"Because that room has small windows and no balcony. I don't want some horny pre-pubescent spotty boy climbing into her window when she becomes a teenager!" He growls like it has actually happened and it makes me laugh my head off.

"Whats so funny? I am serious, Anastasia! There will be no dating or boys or god forbid Sex! Not under my roof! and she's getting a CPO!" He has worked himself up into a real tizzy with this one.

Once my laughter has died down I lean up and kiss him deeply.

"I thought Husband Christian had issues but he's got nothing on Daddy Christian" I giggle and Christian smiles.

"I like the sound of that. Daddy Christian"

"You're going to be a wonderful daddy. I know you are. You're a fantastic husband, son and brother so I know you're going to Ace this whole parenting thing"

"I hope so. I don't want to disappoint you again. I will regret how I reacted until my dying day. I am so so sorry, Anastasia" His eyes starts to water and once again I pull him into my body.

I know he has his faults and some of his shades are still there but with a bit of loving tender care I can bring him full into the light.

I stand up and take his hand so he stands.

"Come on"

"Where are we going?" He asks confused

"We are going to do what we do best, Mr Grey" I tell him as we make our way to our bedroom.

* * *

 **A FEW MONTHS LATER. ANA IS 7 MONTHS PREGNANT**

"Ana, Ana, Ana! You're going to kill me!" I laugh as my husband gently moves off of me and tucks his cock back into his pants.

"I'm sorry but I'm so horny. All I could think of all day was having you and I just could not wait"

"I'll say" He laughs as he takes in our surroundings of the foyer. He had barley made it out of the elevator when I pounced. Thank God Taylor was not with him.

"Should we grab some food then a shower and then round two, Mr Grey?"

"That sounds like a plan, Mrs Grey" He stands up and helps me and we make our way into the kitchen where I have dinner waiting.

"How's baby boy today?" He asks me as he splays his hands on my bump.

"He is kicking up a storm today. You know we still need a name for him. We can't keep calling him "baby Boy"

"Why don't we go have a nice bath and talk about it?"

"Perfect"

* * *

"I think Christian Grey Junior is perfect"

"Ana, we have talked about this. I don't want him to have my name. He needs his own"

"OK, Fine" I huff "You pick one then"

"Well, today I was thinking about all the men in our family and I think I have one"

"OK, tell me"

"What about if we name him after my grandfather? Theodore?"

"Theodore? Teddy? Theodore Raymond Grey? I love it!" I squeal and rub my belly "Did you hear that baby boy? You have a name!"

* * *

 **2 MONTHS LATER. CHRISTIANS POV**

"He's so small" I murmur as I stroke my sons cheek as he rests in his mothers arms.

Ana had a long and complicated labor that ended in an emergency C-Section but thank God, Both my wife and son are fine. All our family has been in to see the baby and now its just the 3 of us alone in the room.

"He is. I can't believe how much he looks like you, Christian. You would think you gave birth to him yourself and I had nothing to do with it" She laughs

"Perhaps the next one will look like you"

"The next one?"

"Oh yes, Mrs Grey. I plan to have a few more of these And soon"

"Huh. I didn't know you were planning on growing a vagina" She smirks making me laugh.

"You and that smart mouth" I lean down and kiss her softly.

"Thank you, Anastasia. Thank you for my baby. Thank you for giving me more. Thank you for not giving up on me but most of all, thank you for loving me"

"I love you more than words can even say, Mr Grey"

"Even though I'm an Arse?"

"Even though you're an Arse. You're my Arse. And what a fine Arse it is" She giggles.

"Don't give me that look, baby. We have a 6 week dry spell to get through"

"God, don't remind me. You would think after the last 15 hours that sex would be the last thing on my mind but I just want to be close to you" She pouts.

"You will be close to me. I am bunking off work for the next few weeks and I am not leaving your side or Teddy's. I can't wait to get you both home so we can begin the rest of our lives"

"Me too. I wonder what the future has in store for us?"

"Whatever it is, I bet it will be exciting" I kiss her one more time and then take Teddy from her arms and hold him in one of mine while my other is wrapped around Ana. This moment, with my son and wife in my arms is perfect and I have never been happier.

* * *

 **ANA'S POV. ONE YEAR LATER**

I can't believe my baby is 1 tomorrow. Where has the time gone?

We took to parenting like ducks to water and I can honestly say that this last year has been the best of my life. Watching Christian love our son is the most satisfying thing in the world. He is the best daddy to our little boy and Teddy loves him.

I walk around our massive kitchen at our house on the sound and grab myself a wine from the fridge. Teddy went down without a bit of fuse about an hour ago and Christian has been setting up Teddy's present in the family room. We got him lots of airplane things because he is obsessed and also lots of Elmo and Barney stuff.

I walk into the family room and find my husband cussing up a storm as he tries to put together a tricycle we bought him.

"Fucking stupid piece of shit!...mother fucking joke!...This is fucking impossible!"

"Watch the potty mouth mister" I laugh and then sit on the sofa in front of him. He takes my glass of wine and takes a sip and then hands it back to me.

"This is infuriating, Ana. All the instructions are in fucking Chinese and I swear I am missing lots of bits!"

"Babe, calm down. I will help you. It can't be that hard.

Two hours, one fuck and a bleeding finger later and Teddy has his bike. Christian and I are both on our backs looking up at the family room ceiling as we try to catch our breath after having sex on the sofa.

"Ana?"

"Yes, Christian?"

"I want another baby"

"What!?" I sit up and look down at my husband.

I knew he wanted more kids but not this soon.

"I want another one. Teddy is one tomorrow and he should be around two when the next one gets here. I love our family and I want it to grow. I would love a little girl. I know you're the one who has to do all the work so I am just saying that when you're ready, I'm ready"

Am I ready? I love my son and a little girl would be fabulous. We have the money, the house and the time so why not?

"I would love to give you another baby, Mr Grey"

"Really!?" He screams and then rolls over on top of me so I wrap my arms around his neck and look up at his beautiful face.

"Really. I love our son and I love our little family. I would love a little girl but a baby brother for Teddy would be good too. I will throw my pills away in the morning and we will be back in the baby making business"

"I think we better practice this baby making thing, Mrs Grey" With that he stands up and throws me over his shoulder.

We practiced making babies all night long and I think we have it sussed out.

* * *

 **ANAS POV- 5 YEARS LATER**

"I can't wait to see her face. Do you think she will like it?"

"Christian, My adorable control freak, she's 4 and you have built her a princess castle! Of course she's going to like it. We may as well move her bed in there because I doubt we will ever be able to get her out again"

We are standing in our back yard where Elliott has had a team of 6 men working day ad night for 4 days to get this ready for Phoebes birthday which is tomorrow. The castle has turrets, rooms, plumbing and even a draw bridge! It's bigger than some peoples houses.

"It's a big hell no to moving her bed out here. She's not allowed to move out until she is 30 and even then I don't think I will allow it" He pouts making me laugh.

Phoebe Grace Grey has her father wrapped around her tint finger. She is the worlds biggest Daddy's girl and as she is getting older I can see more and more of Christians temperament and personality coming out of her. Here teenage years should be a blast!. Not!

I am secretly praying that blip number 3 who we only found out about last week, is a boy. Teddy is such a quite child and well mannered but my daughter is Christians mini-me, even if she is my carbon copy.

I walk over to my husband and wrap my arms around his neck and kiss him softly/

"Christian, She is 4 years old. She won't be leaving home until college but you will have to cut he apron strings sometime"

"She's my baby girl, Anastasia. I want to keep her home where I know she will be safe forever" He pouts really hard which causes me to kiss him again.

"You do know that if blip 3 is a girl its going to turn your hair grey, right?"

"Lord help me. Three women in my house. The only solution to this situation that I found myself in is to just knock you up again as soon as this one pops out and prey for a boy"

"Oh No! We agreed that this was the last one. No more babies, Grey" He gives me a sexy smirk and then squeezes my ass.

"Mrs Grey, Mrs Grey, Mrs Grey. I am sure that I will be able to come around to my way of thinking. I wont bring it up again until the baby is born but just don't do anything permanent like get your tubes tied"

"I seem to remember a certain someone threatening to have a vasectomy when I was having Teddy and now you're like father goose" I laugh but His face falls.

"Sorry. Didn't mean to bring that up"

"I cant even believe I was that man. I love our kids and you more than anything else in the world and I can't believe I almost lost you all because of my fears"

"Hey, look at me. You are an amazing father, Christian Grey. Our children love you more than anything and I love watching you interact with them. All those years ago when we had that massive argument, I think it made us stronger. I truly do believe that. I love our kids, I love our life together and I love you more and more each day" I smile at him and he smiles back.

"There's that word again"

"More?"

"More"

 **THE END**


End file.
